Saturday, January 19, 2013

I'm Going Home

I am going home and a really important work is about to begin within and around me.

I'm stopping work and committees and obligations outside of my home for a time, and I'm going to use my time to become well-and-truly healthy and STRONG.

I envision me out with my kids and Mike -- hiking atop the mesas and plateaus, with the horizons stretching forever, drinking in the clean air and sun. I see me digging in the earth of my garden again and preparing healthy, clean foods for us all. I envision breathing deep, enjoying the quiet as I'm industriously and mindfully working to care for myself, our family and home; I envision exploring and new adventures and the peace of knowing that I am engaged in the most important things.

I know that as I become well, I will know where I am to go next.

This time is a gift: I have the support of my husband even though losing a second income for a time will be a pinch; I have a sure knowledge -- a spiritual confirmation -- that this is the right thing, the ONLY right thing, for me to be doing right now, and nothing else I keep trying to do will work because only this is right for now. I am not afraid or worried about the choices I'm making, the job I'm giving up or what the future might hold if I take this break. I am refocusing my life and I am excited and serene and anticipating and grateful all at once.

My body will become healthy and strong and able to carry me from morning till night, able to take part in everything I want and need to do as a woman, a wife and a mother.

I know this will be a beautiful time and a lot of hard, rewarding work will be done, and I will see the blessing and the growth even in the moments that test and challenge me.  I will live with ever-present gratitude as I watch my life and that of my family transform into something healthier, stronger, more full of light and special moments and learning; something beautiful. New patterns will emerge that will bless our lives and prepare our children to embark on their own healthy lives.

And I will be well and strong and know myself. And when I am and when I do, I will carry all that goodness and health into the next phase of my life when I will be well and truly living every day.

I am coming home. I am freeing the strength that is already within me. I am claiming my worth and will seek my Heavenly Father's help in understanding what that worth is.

And I know already that I will always look back on this moment and say, "I already had a good and blessed life, but THAT was the moment when I began taking care of me and I really began to live, and everything changed."

Love from the farm,


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