Monday, September 7, 2009

Suicide Watch on the Farm (Email Classics)

Written April 7, 2009

Mike fixed the horses' trough last night. It's been overflowing into the hog's pen - which made them as happy as pigs in you-know-what - but made it muddy around the trough in the horse corral which is not good for horse hooves.

ANYWAY, I checked on the trough after taking kids to school this morning and was surprised to find one of our pretty red hens stranded in the trough. Shivering. If that water wasn't freezing, it was darn close. This could explain why Buddy the Horse was whinnying at me over the fence from the moment I got out of the car. Whether he was saying, "Hurry, hurry, oh thank HEAVENS you made it in time," or "One of those stupid chickens is in the trough again. What the h*** is wrong with them? Probably crapped in there. Finally get to drink out of the d*** trough again, and the d*** chicken took a dump in there. What the h*** kind of operation is this anyway? Turning 12 next week, and THIS is the life I get to look forward to? Where's a trough big enough for me to jump in....." (I'm not sure about Buddy's cantankerous nature - he's a cagey one. And we're working with him on the cussing. Kids don't need to hear that.)

I'm also not sure what level of despair caused Red to take the plunge, but I performed an intervention. She's in a box, on a blanket, in front of an electric heater warming now. She hasn't uttered a peep - not sure if she's embarrassed or just deeply ashamed, poor girl. You may remember we found our missing rooster in the trough 4 days after it went missing last summer. Ghastly discovery that Tanner still can't discuss without shuddering.

Just doing my job, seeing to the emotional and physical well being of our flock. Happy chickens. That's our promise.

Love from the farm,

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