Written April 17, 2009
I think this was written for patients with critical illnesses, but it applies to their parents, too - I think I look more "mussed up physically" most the time than Tanner does. The below pretty much nails it.
Please remember Tan puts a smiling face on it, but he doesn't feel good most days. When he's doing things like getting straight A's and finishing his chores, it's easy to forget he's fighting the alligators pretty much every day. He could use the extra hugs and encouragement. 4 weeks and he gets to sleep in and stay home whenever he wants.
Love from the farm,
Life continues on pretty much the way it used to be before you got the diagnosis...
except you now excuse yourself on a regular basis to walk out of the room to wrestle alligators.
Now, you have never wrestled alligators before, and you most certainly are not in your physical best, but that is what you do. You then walk back into your life, without missing a beat, a little bruised and shaken, but try to pick back up where you left off.
You try to keep friends, family and even complete strangers updated on what it is like to have to continually wrestle alligators with no formal training. People look at you oddly, because you certainly don't APPEAR like you just came back from a death-defying match...maybe a little mussed up physically...but your smile hides what is going on outside with the alligators.
It is a scary, scary thing to keep returning to doctor appointments, IVs, and tests. It is a scary, scary thing to wake up each morning feeling like you've been run over by a truck. It is a scary, scary thing to wonder what your future holds.Still, you will continue to wrestle your alligators.
And one day I hope to be holding hands with you at a huge garage sale...a garage sale jam-packed with alligator shoes, belts and handbags.
- Author Unknown